A Road Trip Recap...or...Highlights From My Trip to Louisville/Lewisville/Luvull/Looeyville

*Before leaving the Show-Me state, Julie and I stopped for lunch at a Taco Bell in St. Louis. In the corner of the establishment, a couple argued very loudly. I was happy when the man behind us ordered his food for "there" instead of "to go." That way, Julie and I wouldn't be the only ones shot when the domestic disturbance in the corner got out of hand.

*While driving through St. Louis, I finally came up with post-graduation plans. I'm going to create a fake identity and enroll at Harvard University. My new first name will be Barton. (I forget my new last name.) At one point I was going to join a frat and claim my real ID was a fake and buy beer for all my brothers. I think that idea was scrapped, though, in favor of growing my hair out and being an English major rebelling against my father's plans for me to become a lawyer. Julie will be my fake sister, Parker.

*Upon arriving at our hotel, we needed something to eat. Trying to have the complete Kentucky experience, I asked the lady at the front desk where a nearby non-chain restaurant might be. She promptly gave me directions to the Cracker Barrel and Ruby Tuesday.

*We made a lot of wrong turns.

*We "toured" the Louisville Slugger Museum. Here's how our tour went:
Tour Guide: We have bats that we can personalize for you. It doesn't cost much. We can do it in under 45 minutes.
Me: Interesting, but how are the bats made?
Tour Guide: Unintelligible (either because he's Southern or he was drunk) explanation. And we have personalized bats that you can put your photo on.
Me: That's nice.

*We found the cool neighborhood in town and ate there not once, but twice. Plus, we saw a film about an 70-something roller derby demon.

*While eating dinner, we crafted a complex plan involving skipping out on our bill, semi-kidnapping our waiter and moving to Savannah, GA to raise a chicken.

*We learned they call the Kentucky/Indiana area Kentuckiana.

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Right now I should be...

Re-reading a story I have to write a 3-5-page paper about by Friday.


Eh...I was productive yesterday. Isn't that enough for you people?