Things I'm not: Cool
•I drive a mercury Sable.
•My 16-year-old sister weighs more than I do.

Smooth? Not So Much
Tonight, I ran into both a post and door while trying to exit Hollister.

Also at the Mall...
If I were a betting man, I'd bet the vendors at the kiosks are the unhappiest employees at the mall. Any mall.

Something Stinks
Lately, I've decided two things stink: my feet and my room. Tonight, I decided to put an end to both when I purchased the following: 2 air fresheners, air sanitizer, carpet deodorizer, soap and foot scrub.

For the second time in a month...
I'm pretty sure I was mistaken for a high-schooler this week.