Talk About a Mouthgasm
Last night, I had pumpkin gelato. The written word cannot convey the sound I made upon first taste.

I Don't Care if This Makes Me a Bad Person
I like big box stores. I like chain restaurants. I like malls. I like the suburbs.

Thoughts Most People Don't Have
I don't like any of the chief meteorologists in this market.

Now Taking Suggestions
Any ideas what I should do with my life?