I'm So Bored...
I found myself wishing I could have surgery, just so something exciting would happen in my life.

Forgive Me, Father, for I Have Sinned
I almost clapped in church.

Normal People Don't:
•Yell at the TV about photographers using gain.
•Almost put a hyphen between the T and the V when typing "TV."
•Realize that an anchor question is scripted because the reporter didn't say the station's standard outcue at the end of his/her live shot.
•Get disappointed when the package from Mom turns out not to be a tape of local newscasts.

Why Having Access to the AP Wire Makes Life Worth Living
or
No, Really, I'm Going to Hell
(Portland-AP) -- A man has pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter for killing a friend who handed him a beer can filled with urine -- apparently as a joke.

Sentencing for 46-year-old David Shippentower is set for January 20th.

Court papers say Shippentower punched 45-year-old Leonard Strong at least twice, causing a brain injury.

The two were among a group of people drinking beer in a van on the Umatilla Indian Reservation in July.

Prosecutors say Shippentower had drunk about a dozen 24-ounce beers.

According to witnesses, he asked Strong for another beer. And Strong, who also had been drinking heavily, handed him the can filled with urine.

Strong died at Oregon Health & Sciences University hospital in Portland.
(Copyright 2003 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)