Sunday Bloody Sunday
I once again fell victim to my own stupidity today. And as tends to happen every few years, it resulted in a trip to the hospital.

Things were going pretty well. I'd attended church. I'd purchased the Sunday paper. I'd picked up a few bagels. And I was getting ready to eat one of those bagels and enjoy the MU-UNLV game on the local ABC affiliate. But before eating the bagel, I thought, "This French toast bagel would be good sliced and buttered." So I pulled out a knife and I sliced away...eventually slicing into my finger.

My first thought was: "Oh fuck, oh shit, fuck, fuck, bitch, shit, ass, mother fucker, shit, fuck."

My second tought was: "I hope I didn't get blood on the bagel."

My third thought was: "Dammit. I wanted to watch the game. I don't have time for this."

My fourth thought was: "I hope this stops bleeding."

But it didn't. The blood kept seeping forth. So, after a call home and a call to the consulting nurse line and thirty minutes of continuous bleeding, I drove myself to the hospital. Well, first, I ate the bagel. Then, I drove myself to the hospital.

I was a little worried that by the time I arrived the bleeding would have ended. Sure, that would mean I probably wouldn't need stitches, but it would also take away some of the personal glory. Thankfully, when I unwrapped the wash cloth, the gash was still a gushin'.

In fact, it was almost two hours before the gushing stopped...and only then because of three stitches.

Apparently, this is a pretty common injury, according to the folks in the ER. I don't think it makes me feel any less stupid, though. Ah well, now I have an excuse to buy a bagel slicer.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the bagel was pretty damn good. Definitely worth the 60¢ I paid...though, I'm not sure worth as much as the $75 ER copay.