The Opposite of "Hit the Spot"
What the mac and cheese I just ate did

Hi! Welcome to NorthWest Cable News
We have a new freelance producer at work. The first time I talked to him, I made fun of his name. The second time I talked to him, I made fun of his old station. Man, I really roll out the welcome mat.

Translating Apartment-Speak
I've recently realized I'm on the fast track to bankruptcy, so I've started to search for a new apartment. Here are some terms I've encountered in my search and what they mean in the real world:

On Bus Line: Noisy
Unique: Crappy
Has Character: Crappy
Great Deal: Not a Great Deal

I Wish I Lived in Portland
Then I could vote for Extremo!