Grammar Patrol Fails

I think I misplaced a modifier in last night's 6.

But Also Succeeds

However, I caught two "over"s on Monday and changed them to "more than"s.

The Sweetest Ride in Town

It may not start on the first try, and the thing's heater doesn't kick in as fast as it should, but the Unstable Sable has a damn fine rear defroster.

Tawny's Not the Only One...

To Clare and anyone else concerned about reality TV spotlight hogs:

I feel the need to inform you that Coral (of MTV's Real World...Season 10) also appeared on an episode of The Fifth Wheel earlier this season.

From tvguide.com: Why are American Idol host Ryan Seacrest and Celebrity Mole's Kathy Griffin at odds?

Are you really a celebrity if the way you're known is as "Celebrity Mole's so and so"?

Oh...in case you're wondering why they're at odds, it has something to do with an awards show.

A Shitty Article About a Shitty Change

Lights! Camera! Action!

Shopping With Scott

Things I should spend money on:
•Brown dress or semi-dress shoes
•A full-length mirror
•Something to hang on the living room wall

Things I should not spend money on:
•More shirts

Things I spent money on today:
•Two shirts from Abercrombie and Fitch

Things I resisted spending money on:
•Two shirts from Hollister
•The first season of Felicity on DVD

Way I'll know I no longer have any self-restraint in regards to spending money:
•When I break down and order the Blind Date bloopers video

Potential Bumper Sticker I Hope Never Catches On

Save Time. Don't Wipe.

Note To Clare:

The Fifth Wheel isn't always female. Sometimes, it's a guy.

Regardless of the Fifth Wheel's sex, my preferred "dating show with a bus" is MTV's Taildaters...which thanks to this coming Thursday's cable upgrade, I'll be able to enjoy on a regular basis.

I look like I belong in a 70s cowboy porno.

Note to Cinnamon on Today's Episode of The Fifth Wheel or Here's to You, Dave Alexander

"Streaking" involves the removal of all clothes, not just stripping down to your underwear. What you and both boys did was not streaking. Don't call it that.

You Call That a Scooby Snack?

So, this week at the grocery store, I bought Cinnamon Marshmallow Scooby-Doo! Cereal (which should actually be called Cinnamon AND Marshmallow Scooby-Doo! Cereal.) Sound disgusting? Well, I assure you the "crispy, sweetened corn and oat bone-shaped cereal with marshmallow bits" is.

I Got a Calendar for Christmas

Half of the months this year start with a holiday. Who knew?

My calendar also has a neat feature. On each date, it says what day of the year it is. For example, April 30 is the 120th day of 2003. It also tells how many more days are left in the year...just in case you're a dumbass who can't subtract from 365.

S-C-O-T-T Spells Productivity

It's not even 4 p.m., and I've already accomplished my three goals for the day. Goal #1 for the semester is also coming along nicely. In addition, I've completed the following bonus goals:

•Washed my car
•Did my Target shopping

Perhaps posting my daily goals on my blog wasn't such a bad idea after all.
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I bought the more expensive coat. I was looking at two coats, and I bought the more expensive one. Both coats were at the Jeff City Old Navy. The cheaper one was only $10 and most likely the warmer coat. However, I didn't really like how it looked, and it had a lot of static electricity, so I worried it might catch me on fire next time I filled my gas tank.

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Every time I visit Jeff City, I'm surprised that it's less of a shit hole than I expect. It's still a shit hole, mind you...but less of one.

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I bought a lot of toilet paper today. It was on sale. So, if you need to use the facilities next time you're at 1334C, don't worry. We've got you covered.

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It's amazing how much blogging one can do with a decent internet connection and no one to talk to.

Goals for the Day

•Shower
•Buy a new coat
•Visit our friends at Hy-Vee so I have something to eat besides frozen burritos.

Goals for the Semester
•Don't die
•Find a job
•Graduate

By posting them on my blog, I've probably jinxed any chance of me accomplishing these goals.

A Numbers Game

Let's celebrate the return to CoMo:

Number of construction zones on eastbound I-70 between Raytown and Concordia: 4
Number of cars with IL plates and passengers with really bad hair cuts that I passed on I-70: 1
Today's high temperature, in °F, in KC: 71
Friday's forecasted low temperature, in °F, for Columbia: 7
Number of winter coats I left in Raytown: 2
Number of winter coats I have in Columbia: 0

For Those of You Who Previously Thought I Was Normal (And I Know That Number is Small)

Tonight, I Febrezed my hangers. No clothes. Just hangers.

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Try as they might, those children on Jeopardy's kids week just can't conceal their disappointment when they lose. Maybe I'll adopt one of them.

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Some of you are wondering what's behind my current adoption obsession. Well, I've always liked kids. You may remember the wanting to steal a baby I went through last year. Anyway, every Monday, NBC-41's Elizabeth Alex (she adopted her daughter) features a Monday's Child who needs adopted. These kids are adorable.

Now, some of you have told me this concept is a little odd, even comparing it to pet adoption segments many stations feature. But it isn't like that. They talk about what kind of family the kids want and what they like to do...okay...so it still sounds like one of those pet adoption segments...but it's different. I swear. They don't have the kid on a leash, nor do they cuddle with it.

In Case I Haven't Told You...

I'm adopting a child. Wish me luck!

Ulcers build character. That's why I'm going to have one. Wish me luck!

Coming Soon...

Watch for a redesign that will knock your socks off...or at least prove to myself that I don't give up on everything I attempt after only a short while.