The Countdown's On
In less than 48 hours, I'll be home.

And who are we kidding? The countdown's been on since September.

If You Can't Spend Christmas With Your Family, Spend Christmas With a Family Comedy
Cheaper by the Dozen. Good.

Better Than The Olympics
Hightlights from tonight's World Idol:
•The crazy Polish judge
•The Brit's mullet
•The Norwegian singing U2

Merry Christmas
I bought you your very own copy of Kidz Bop 5. It should be there soon!

Best Lead in Today's Seattle Times
"Merry Christmas, Seattle. It's time to unwrap your toilets."

On a Somewhat Related Note, I Had This Odd Thought Today
Why don't we teach kids to change their own diapers?

If the Flu Doesn't Get Me...
mad cow disease will.

What a Crummy Week
•The terror alert level is raised.
•Mizzou loses to Illinois

And The Calls Just Keep Coming
Yesterday, a man called the newsroom saying he had photos from his past he needed to show somebody. I transferred him downstairs to the NBC station.

Do You Know What I'm Getting My Brother-in-Law for Christmas?
Because I don't.

Texas
Where there's lots of sky.

Thanks to Andrea and Julie for a wonderful time. If only I could have stayed. Forever.

Viva Las Bagels!
While visiting the Lone Star state, I took advantage of my first trip to Panera in months, and I bought a few cinnamon crunch bagels to bring back to Washington.

So Hungry I Could Eat a Baby
But I would never eat Mary Barton's baby!

Happy Holidays!
Many thanks to all those who have sent me Christmas cards. You're not getting one in return. Sorry.

So Does This Mean I Can Use Some of My Sick Days?
Earlier this fall, we had free flu shots at work. Turns out the doctor who was in charge of those shots isn't a doctor at all. And he shouldn't have had flu vaccines. Oops!

The Mother of All Phone Calls: A Rough Transcription From Memory
Me: NorthWest Cable News. This is Scott.
Caller: Hi Scott.
Me: Hi.
Caller: I have a story idea for you.
Me (beginning to stop paying attention): Okay.
Caller: I'm concerned about the welfare of the American people. I've been communicating with the White House about this, and they've stopped talking to me.
Me: Mmmhmm.
Caller: I'm suing the government over the welfare of the people. I've told them I'm not coming to the president. He has to come to me.
Me: Oh.
Caller: I'd like to sit down with a reporter and talk to them about this because the Department of Homeland Security is watching me. That way, if anything happens, there's proof.
Me: Well, I can't guarantee we can cover this, but I'll pass this along to our reporters.
Caller: Well, do you want my number.
Me: Oh, uh, yeah. Sure.
Caller then gives number while I pretend to write it down.
Me: Alright.
Caller: Have a good day.
Me: You, too....
To self: ya fuckin' nut job.

Neutral Court, My Ass
Well, the Battle in Seattle was quite the....ummm....battle. I hope you all enjoyed it on TV (despite the loss.) I enjoyed seeing it in person. Here are a couple of things you, the home viewer, missed:

•The only contestant successful at running the full length of the court and scoring a basket in under 5 seconds was a child from Portland in a Mizzou jersey. I believe that, not Rickey's clutch 3, was the true highlight of the day.

•Gonzaga's band played Eye of the Tiger. WTF? Dumbasses.

Five Days of Freedom
It's Friday. And it's MY Friday. That hasn't happened since September. And to make it even better, it's the start of my five-day weekend. Highlights will include:

•One last chance to see the Tigers play in person before we're slapped with NCAA sanctions
•Much Christmas shopping
•A trip to Tejas to see two fine chicas


Get Rich Quick
It's no secret that, so far, I haven't really loved my job. (Though, the past few days have actually been really good.) Anyway, I have yet to quit because, among other things, it just isn't financially feasible.

Until now.

I've realized how I can rake in the dough: I'm going to be a Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy Hustler. I'll play real dumb, and challenge people to bets on Jeopardy questions(answers?) and Wheel puzzles. But here's the kicker...thanks to my connections in the Central time zone, I'll be able to get all the answers hours ahead of time. Genius! Pure genius!


I Stole This From Her
It's now time for the "Ricky Clemons mess quote of the day"!

Courtesy columbiatribune.com:
"She said, 'Somebody tipped off the FBI that you were extorting somebody,' " Clemons told former MU basketball player Ryan Kiernan in a phone conversation. "She didn't want me stressing. I said, 'Man, I ain't going to stress over no shit. Hell, I don't even know what that shit is.' I called my brother, and he was like, 'Extortion. Come on, tell me what's going on. Tell me everything.' He's like, 'Who are you going to extort? You ain't smart enough to extort nobody.' "

Kiernan also required a definition.

A close second:
"No pink toes," she [Carmento Floyd] said.

"My toes are pink," Amy Stewart said.

"Your toes ain't pink; they're yellow," Carmento Floyd corrected.

After more debate on the color of Amy Stewart's toes - peach was the final verdict...

Oh to be a fly on the jailhouse walls.....

F!
I love the Tigers...but this is going to make Saturday's game much less enjoyable.

I'm Going to Assume You Haven't Been Reading This Thing
That's the only explanation for the lack of comments on recent posts.

In Other News
Hooray for competition!!!!!

All The Best Newsroom Phone Calls Come on Saturday Mornings
Like...
•The man who called wanting to know what time the sun would rise in Ballard, WA 98107. He actually gave me the zip code...you know so I could look up the time on our giant zip code/sunrise time cross-reference chart.*
•The woman who spoke poor English, mentioned something about Andre Agassi and a tennis racket and yelled about the NBC affiliate being bad before she hung up.
•The woman who wanted to open up her home to anyone whose house had been damaged by our recent windstorm. Nice...but a little naive, if you ask me.

*I realize I could've transferred this guy back to weather, but weather was busy, and I was not. Unfortunately, I just gave the guy a guesstimate because I didn't find this handy tool until after I hung up.

Holy Shit
We just hired the NPPA Photographer of the Year as our bureau photog in Portland. Check out his tape. The fourth story is so well-told, it made me cry. (Of course, I'm also rather emotionally unstable lately.) The last story's a tearjerker, too. I'm not sure what posessed this guy to come here. (He obviously didn't talk to me.) But I'm not going to complain (for once.)

At Least I Don't Hit Moving Objects
Due to my lack of depth perception, I managed to scrape the side of my relatively new car against a large concrete post in my building's parking garage. This is the second time I've done so....though in a different spot on my car and against a different concrete post. The first time it was embarassing. Now it's simply comical. Next time....and let's all be honest with ourselves, at this rate, chances are there will be a next time....laugh riot.

Countdown
Mizzou vs. Gonzaga at Key Arena: One Week
Trip to Texas to See Julie/Andrea: One Week and Two Days
Trip Home: Three Weeks and Five Days
End of Contract: One Year, Nine Months and Two Days....Shit.