What is Gum? Baby Don't Hurt Me...
Today, I finally realized why I hate gum. I was writing a story about Singapore lifting it's ban on gum, and it seemed like I used the word "gum" about 500 times. In search of a synonym, I asked, "What is gum?" After much debate, we came to the conclusion gum is gum...and nothing else. It's not candy. It's not food. It's just gum. Singapore should bring back it's ban. Then I'd move there.

Athens, Here I Come!
Today, a co-worker told me that if mocking others were an Olympic sport, I would win a medal. Now that's a compliment!

I Know What I'm Doing August 13-15!
From digmo:
MU's athletic department plans to formally respond to the allegations by July 1 and appear before the NCAA's Committee on Infractions from Aug. 13-15 in Seattle.

The Creepiest Thing I've Ever Seen
OR
Proof Cross-Cultural Journalism Failed Me

While driving to Taco Bell, I passed a man on bicycle. A one-legged man on a bicycle. A one-legged man on a bicycle with his wooden leg sticking out of a bag on the side of his bike.

The Opposite of "Hit the Spot"
What the mac and cheese I just ate did

Hi! Welcome to NorthWest Cable News
We have a new freelance producer at work. The first time I talked to him, I made fun of his name. The second time I talked to him, I made fun of his old station. Man, I really roll out the welcome mat.

Translating Apartment-Speak
I've recently realized I'm on the fast track to bankruptcy, so I've started to search for a new apartment. Here are some terms I've encountered in my search and what they mean in the real world:

On Bus Line: Noisy
Unique: Crappy
Has Character: Crappy
Great Deal: Not a Great Deal

I Wish I Lived in Portland
Then I could vote for Extremo!