Because Poor Signage, an Abundance of Bad Drivers, 12-Way Intersections, and a God-Awful Number of Roundabouts Don't Make Driving In This City Hard Enough...
Today's Seattle Marathon turned my 10-minute drive home into a 30-minute one.

M-I-Z! B-X-R!
After previously moping because I couldn't listen to Mizzou games on mutigers.com because I have a Mac, I realized today that I can just listen to BXR online and hear the games that way. I'm too late for football season, but just in time for basketball season.

Who Wants to Move to Seattle?
If I refer someone to my apt. building, I get $100. Come on, help me out here.

Odd
I just dreamt of riding a bike through a hog farm.

The Most Exciting Friday Night Ever!
Last night, I cleaned my bathtub! Woooooo!!!! Seriously, though, it's so clean now, you could eat off of it.

I wouldn't recommend doing that, though. Sometimes I pee in the shower.

Just kidding. I quit doing that when I moved out of 1334C.

Just kidding, Coons. Maybe.

Simple Math
I like The Real World. I like E! Entertainment Television. I like the E! True Hollywood Story: The Real World.

sigh
There's a good chance I miss you right now.

This Year I'm Thankful For...
•Glow-in-the-dark pajamas
•Gingerbread ice cream
•My nephew

•A $50 giftcard from work (not to be confused with being thankful for work)
•The fact that people still read this thing. People do still read this thing, right?

For One Justin Marciniak
From The Pitch Weekly's 2003 "Best Of"s:

Best Glasses On The Tube
Elizabeth Alex, KSHB Channel 41

When Marilyn Monroe donned spectacles in How to Marry a Millionaire, it wasn't like she suddenly became a bow-wow. While walking into walls, she also walked right into the collective heterosexual male libido. Today, glasses have become yesterday's halter tops -- they signify a blend of sexy and smart. That's what we've been thinking about KSHB Channel 41 anchor Elizabeth Alex, who combines in one seen-from-the-shoulders-up package a clean blow-dry job and a wry wit. She isn't creepily schizophrenic when shifting from a homicide to a hoedown. She's the Bible Belt's Ashleigh Banfield, but twice as grounded.

It's Not Like It's the Second Oldest Rivalry in College Sports
This weekend is the big Apple Cup. Washington vs. Washington State. People around here are really into this rivalry...annoyingly so. I went into work today to find my desk covered with anti-Husky propaganda. I'm not even from this state, people!

The only moment of sanity came when a little kid (who was touring the building...we don't just keep little kids in the newsroom...it's not the Neverland Ranch) asked our dayside anchor and fellow MU grad if he was a Cougar or a Husky fan. His reply: "I'm a Tiger fan."

Further Reading
If you want to read a bitter, bitter blog, keep reading mine. But if you want to read a funny blog, read this one

Is This an Elementary School or a Workplace?
There is an apparent mini-outbreak of pink eye at work. Good thing my job provides health insurance in case I catch anything. Oh...wait...that doesn't kick in until Dec. 1st.

And While I'm Blogging About How Much I Love Work...
By the end of this weekend, I'll have produced the following shows during my 2 and a half month employment at NWCN: 6 a.m., 8 a.m., 11 a.m., 1 p.m., 4 p.m., 6 p.m., weekend 6 a.m., weekend 10 a.m., weekend 6 p.m., weekend midnight.

It's a good thing I chose this job over another offer because it was going to offer me a regular, M-F work schedule instead of weekends and filling in.

A Little More Whining...Just for Fun
Work: Scott, we wanted to give you something extra for coming in on your day off the other day.
Me: Really?
Work: Yeah. You know how you have those two shows you have to produce today?
Me: Yeah...I only have to produce one now?
Work: No. We want to have you help produce today's morning show, too. Oh, and by the way, you don't really get to have writers today, either.

Sweet Jesus
Marcia Clark is now a "special correspondent" for Entertainment Tonight.

Thanks, Dumbass
A TV reporter just explained what black ice is. I know people here are stupid when it comes to weather...but really.

Don't Answer Your Phone at 9 a.m. on Your Day Off
It'll be work. They'll want you to come in.

Of Clogged Pores and Clogged Toilets
I have a zit on the end of my nose that rivals any from the middle school era. My nose is so red, I look like an alcoholic.

While plunging the toilet, I managed to splash toilet water on my face.

ELVES!
I've eaten a lot of E.L. Fusge cookies today. Way more than any adult should. Anyway, instead of the back of the cookie looking like the back of an elf, it now has a saying like "Dunk Head First" or "Do You Believe in Eleves?" All this reminds me of the time last spring or summer when I realized...at age 21...that the back of an E.L. Fudge cookie was designed to look like the back of an elf and not the front of an Eskimo.

Marciniak, You're a Dead Man
How dare you make such a comment! Next time I see you, your ass is grass, buster!

If Life Were Like DVD Collections
I'd have to watch West Coast Update instead of Sports Night since I live on the West Coast. West Coast Update! Produced by Sally Sasser! Sally Sasser!!

Sigh
I just had a Shakey's craving.

I'm So Bored...
I found myself wishing I could have surgery, just so something exciting would happen in my life.

Forgive Me, Father, for I Have Sinned
I almost clapped in church.

Normal People Don't:
•Yell at the TV about photographers using gain.
•Almost put a hyphen between the T and the V when typing "TV."
•Realize that an anchor question is scripted because the reporter didn't say the station's standard outcue at the end of his/her live shot.
•Get disappointed when the package from Mom turns out not to be a tape of local newscasts.

Why Having Access to the AP Wire Makes Life Worth Living
or
No, Really, I'm Going to Hell
(Portland-AP) -- A man has pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter for killing a friend who handed him a beer can filled with urine -- apparently as a joke.

Sentencing for 46-year-old David Shippentower is set for January 20th.

Court papers say Shippentower punched 45-year-old Leonard Strong at least twice, causing a brain injury.

The two were among a group of people drinking beer in a van on the Umatilla Indian Reservation in July.

Prosecutors say Shippentower had drunk about a dozen 24-ounce beers.

According to witnesses, he asked Strong for another beer. And Strong, who also had been drinking heavily, handed him the can filled with urine.

Strong died at Oregon Health & Sciences University hospital in Portland.
(Copyright 2003 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Securing That Spot In Hell
Note: If you're easily offended, don't read on. Though, if you were easily offended, you'd have probably stopped reading this blog awhile ago.

The scene: NWCN newsroom. I'm talking with a reporter about live shot "issues" we had while covering a press conference on the Green River Killer.

Reporter: I'm sorry about that.

Me: It's okay. Nobody died. Well, actually, I guess 48 people did.

One Might Say, "It's About Damn Time."
After living in Seattle for two months, I had my first cup of coffee in this city.

My Seattle experience is now complete. Can I leave now?

Seriously, What Market is This?
Tonight on the NBC affil.'s 6:30 p.m. newscast:
•The weekend weather person doubled as a reporter...on the second story of the newscast!
•A reporter did a live shot for a hard news story in a polar fleece.

A Clarification
Though my Oct. 30th post may have made it sound otherwise, I still hate Halloween.

Productivity Levels Nearing Zero
For some reason, I decided since the only productive thing I'd done all day was take out the trash/recycling, I deserved a 2 and 1/2 hour nap.