What's it say about me as a person when I find it funny to think of ways to make trick-or-treaters cry?

I know...I know...It's been a while since I posted last...That's why Scott6103: The Blog is proud to bring you...

Have a Poop-tacular Sunday

This past Sunday, I was sitting at the light at Providence and Broadway in Columbia, MO. As I waited for my turn arrow, a minivan drove by with the following license plate: I-L-V-P-O-O. Yes, that's right, "I Love Poo."

But wait, there's more.

That same Sunday, Julie and I headed west to Kansas City. While in Kansas City, we took in the sites including Independence Center. After trying on some jeans at said shopping establishment, I needed to pee. (Fear not. This not another instance of my urine smelling like popcorn.) So, I went in the bathroom...debated urinal or stall...chose stall...entered the stall...almost slipped and fell on my ass. Why? Well, that would be because I stepped in poo...feces...dung...shit...poop...excrement...waste...BM...human cowplop...get the picture? I was disgusted. So was the heavily make-uped man in camouflage pants who was also in the bathroom. I attempted to clean my shoe, but I still smelled like I messed my pants. So...I bought a new pair of shoes.

###

I'm proud to announce that I exceeded my projected grade on my Irish History midterm by a minus. Scott6103: The Blog: Exceeding new low standards every day.

Senioritis? Yeah, I've got that.

Heartburn? Yeah, I've got that, too. Thanks Denny's.

Sammich

Today, I really wanted a meatball sub from Subway. I didn't want a BMT. That's what I had last week. No sir (or ma'am), I really wanted a meatball sub. No other sandwich would hit the spot. Keep that in mind when reading the following reenactment from today. I call it Lunch at a Busy Subway

Sandwich Artist: What can I get you?

Me: BMT on white

Me to self: Damn!

Now That's What I Call Studying 3

I just finished my Irish History midterm. It wasn't the academic debacle I had feared. It wasn't smooth sailing, either, but I'm pretty sure I'm free of the F-zone. That could be due to the (at least) 7 hours of studying I did in the last 36 hours.

Predicted grade: B-

--

The midterms are done. The roommate is gone. The weekend is here. Let the PARTAY begin.

Note: By "PARTAY," Scott6103: The Blog means "nap."

Yesterday, I drew a tribute mural to waffles during my test review session for Irish History. Yummmm. Waffles...

This Sounds Like a Trashy Good Time

From the Elimidate website: "Elimidate" is looking for firemen, policemen, men in uniform, cheerleaders, flight attendants, twins, and siblings to cast in upcoming shows!

Weeks like this one lead to ulcers...

Scott6103: The Blog Gets Interactive

In an effort to encourage today's youth to engage in a more open and frank discussion about matters of a sexual nature, this blog poses the following question:

Which would you rather live without for the rest of your life?

A) Candy

B) Masturbation

E-mail me with your vote.

A Look Inside My Head

I have two midterms this week. I should study for those tests. One of them is worth 50% of my grade in that class. I have done very little of the reading for these tests. I should really study. I should create a study schedule for this week. That way, I can block out blocks of time to study in solitude. I'm going to eat a candy bar. Then, I'm going to update my blog. Maybe I'll study later.

You Call THAT Enough Olives?

I just enjoyed a 6-inch BMT on white at the Brady Commons Subway. As you might have guessed by the above bold-faced type, there were not enough olives on said BMT. Still, being the honest fella I am, when they were going to ring me up for a Spicy Italian (a savings on my part of 30 cents), I corrected them and paid full price.

---

For those of you not familiar with the MU Campus. The Subway in Brady Commons is part of a larger institution known as T.A. Brady's. T.A. Brady's also includes a "bowling alley." As I sat at a table enjoying my sub, someone was walking back where the pins are located. I thought about rolling a bowling ball down the lane toward that person's legs. That would have been funny...and taught those bastards to give me the proper amount of olives next time.

Too Much Information

I just urinated. It smelled slightly like popcorn.

--

Introducing...Scott6103: The Blog's Irrational Fear of the Day
So, sometimes, when I'm washing my hands in a public restroom after I do my thing (or thang if you prefer), I fear that I'm in the wrong sex's bathroom. Even if I've used the urinal.

--

That completes this bathroom-themed blog posting.

DisappointED


So I ganked the idea of linking "Ed" in the subhead from J-Dub (and yes, I just used the word "ganked"), but I promise the following thoughts are original.


This afternoon, I finally got around to watching the season premiere of TV's Ed. The above subhead says it all. What follows are the top three reasons why I'm disappointed:


3) The new chracter played by Darryl "Chill" Mitchell does not excite me. I don't like cast changes. I hate cast changes, in fact. Besides, Ed already has too many characters. If Kenny had to leave, he did not need to be replaced.


2) The characters of Nancy and Carol are now simply annoying. Mike is headed that way.


1) The Carol/Dennis/Ed saga continues. This was the least likable aspect of last season. The character of Dennis is a shallow device (much like the stupid DA played by Rena Sofer in the show's first season) the writers are attempting to use to create a longing in viewers' hearts for Ed and Carol to get together. However, in employing said devices, the writers deprive the audience of any Ed/Carol chemistry, and that's part of the Ed magic I fell in love with my sophomore year.



The Saintly Virtues of Chris Gervino


At this morning's 11 a.m. Mass, I had the privilege of sitting near TV's Chris Gervino for the second week in a row. Proving once again that he's one of the nicest men alive, Chris Gervino gave money to the second collection. Also, you'll be glad to know that he has not forgotten my name as previously thought. While sharing with one another the sign of peace, he called me by name.


To recap: Chris Gervino has a special place in heaven.

A Very Special Blog Entry

Frequent visitors to Scott6103: The Blog know that I don't usually use this page for much more than inane ramblings. However, every once in awhile, even I get a little mushy. (For instance, the season finale of American Idol.) So, in a week filled with great visits with friends that have put at ease my unnecessary but sometimes crippling fear that I can't carry on a conversation with people I don't see on a regular basis and all my friendships are actually a mockery of the word friendship...here's to all of those friends...and to mushiness.

Nightmare on Ashland Road

So...last night, I had two nightmares. Guess which one was scarier?

Nightmare #1
--I'm driving through the middle of Columbia listening to BXR. It's raining pretty hard. All of a sudden, the DJ announces that there's a tornado. I look out the window, and I see that very tornado. So, I pull into the Wal-Mart parking lot, run inside, yell, "There's a tornado!" and prepare to kiss my ass goodbye.

Nightmare #2
--I'm watching KMBC Channel 9's (the KC ABC affiliate for those of you who ignore my rants about KC news) 5 o'clock news. The third story in the news is a package about donuts. The third story! I realize it's the 5, but still, for the third story to be a puff piece about donuts that belongs much later in the newscast is just plain silly. Adding to the frustration, this is the station everyone says is such a shining example of journalistic integrity.

No spanking kids...no scolding them...next thing you know, we're going to be told we should hug children and make them feel special. That's BS.

This morning at Scott6103: The Blog, we have a special guest...ANDREA ADAMS! Say hi, Andrea.

"Hi."

Thanks for coming by....ladies and gentlemen, Andrea Adams....(insert polite applause)