Ho Ho Ho! Happy Halloween!
Oops. Wrong holiday.

I bought Halloween candy the other day. This, despite the following:
a)I'm pretty sure one child lives in my building

b)I'll be asleep during prime trick-or-treating time due to my work schedule

So, really, I just bought a big bag of candy to eat by myself.

All Wet
When I went to get my car washed today, I assumed the rear passenger-side window was rolled up since I'd never used it. Silly me.

Talk About a Mouthgasm
Last night, I had pumpkin gelato. The written word cannot convey the sound I made upon first taste.

I Don't Care if This Makes Me a Bad Person
I like big box stores. I like chain restaurants. I like malls. I like the suburbs.

Thoughts Most People Don't Have
I don't like any of the chief meteorologists in this market.

Now Taking Suggestions
Any ideas what I should do with my life?

I Just Don't Feel Like Blogging
Sorry. Maybe tomorrow.

Things It Would Be Nice to Know Before I Drive to Work on My Day Off
That meeting was canceled.

More Stores With More Stories
Since I was already almost downtown (see above) I decided to drive a few more blocks and go shopping in downtown Seattle. There, I found: a two-story Pottery Barn, a three-story Gap, a three-story Old Navy, a two-story J. Crew and a two-story Urban Outfitters.

I Hate Pants
Hate 'em.

I Love the 80s, But Do They Really Need to Strike Back?
VH1's I Love the 80s: Addictive. I'd watch the same episode repeatedly.
VH1's I Love the 70s: Slightly excessive use of the "I Love the..." concept, but addictive if watched long enough...even though I wasn't alive in the 70s
VH1's I Love the 80s Strikes Back:Really stretching for material (Remember that time in '81 when that one guy farted?) and commentators (Who the hell are you people?)

You'd Think By the Time You Get to Market 12
You'd know how to hold a fucking microphone for a live shot.

Not Quite as Orgasmic as Flipping Both Boxes of a Double Box
But tonight, the CBS station flipped one box.

Oh....you know what would be really cool? Flipping all three boxes in a triple box.

Is This Weird?
Sometimes I want to quit eating. Tonight, not even ice cream tasted good.

Underwood:
You owe me an e-mail...bitch.

Weird
A kid who graduated from my high school won $100,000 on the Wade Robson Project. I went to school with Tyler's older sister Amy. I haven't talked with Amy in a few years...I should get in touch with her...and not just because her brother just won $100,000.

Just to Clarify
I know a kilometer is 1000 meters. I just wasn't sure of the equivalent in miles. Thanks to Dave for letting me know.

Ikea is my Arch-Nemesis
Furniture that says "assembly required" on the box should actually read "Scott Collins: Do Not Purchase."

And I Thought I Was Bad
Sunday morning at work...about 2:07 a.m., the phone rings. Since I'm the only one in the newsroom, I answer it. It's the weekend sports guy. He had just seen the station on a TV in a bar and noticed a jump cut in the sports highlights. He wanted to know if we could fix it for the morning show.

Who Gives These People Our Number?
Much later that same morning...around 9-ish, we get another call in the newsroom. It goes like this:
caller: That walk that you guys are talking about...that 5K...how long is that?
me (despite the fact that it's actually our sister station covering the AIDS walk): How long?
caller: how far?
me: umm...5K
caller: yeah...what's that K mean?
me: 5 kilometers
caller: how long's a kilometer? oh, never mind, I can look that up.
me (thankful since I don't actually know how long a kilometer is):have a good day, sir.
*click*

And Then There's This Guy
So, I complain that people in this city aren't friendly, but when they try to be, I complain about that, too. (You're not surprised, are you?) Case in point: I'm at Blockbuster last night, and have to change the info on my account since I no longer live in Missouri. The guy asks why I moved to Seattle. I tell him I got a job at NWCN as a producer. He replies, "Oh, I've produced some stuff for cable access before."

Mizzou-Rah!
Nothing* beats watching the Tigers on national TV as they win at home over Nebraska.

*Except actually being at the game**

**Or watching it with other Tiger fans***

***But seriously...alone...in your pajamas and a hooded sweatshirt....actually pretty damn good.

750 Minutes of Pure Television Excellence
Yesterday, I purchased the first two seasons of Saved by the Bell on DVD. I know you're all jealous.

Grocery Grumbling
Grocery stores in this town don't seem to carry cherry Toaster Strudels or syrup you can put in the microwave. What's up with that?

The Following People Were in My Dream Last Night:
•Ellen DeGeneres
•The guy who played Joe on Ellen and now appears on Malcolm in the Middle
•Fonzie
•Jonie from Happy Days
•Rob Coons
•Knez Walker

Must Be a Newman Thing
Because of my work schedule, if I want to go to church, it means going to UW's Newman Center. Or going to church and sleeping because I've been up all night. Anyway, after two consecutive weeks of kickin' it with the Big G Newman style, I've realized that ol' JP2 himself must decree that Newman Centers do the following:
•Clap during songs
•Clap unnecessarily at the end of Mass
•Sing the Our Father (though MU's Newman Center eventually abandoned that practice)
•Leave students with confused looks on their faces

I regret to report, though, that UW's Newman Center does not appear to have Newman Players.

Rejoice!
It's the start of the weekend. Well, it's the start of my weekend. Who cares if it's everyone else's Monday afternoon.

Cue the End of the World
Why are standup opens and closes taking over the airwaves? Why? There will be none of that when I am news director for every station in the country (my new goal instead of "ruler of the world.") Mark my word. And I'll use double boxes when I damn well feel like it.

I Could Lose a Nut and Today Would Still Be a Good Day
According to my unofficial sources, all of 41's evening newscasts are up thanks to Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. Score.

It's Scott. S-C-O-T-T
Just got an e-mail from my step-grandfather. In it, he calls me Scot...twice. Oh course, he still thinks I'm a "TV program director," too. Who needs that extra T, anyway? It's redundant.