Am I British?
I visited the dentist today. He told me I have 10 cavities. 10! I haven't had a cavity since at least high school, if not before. How did 10 pop up in my mouth since my last dentist's visit about a year ago? I don't think brushing with pure cane sugar can cause that many cavities.

It Brought Tears (of Joy) to My Eyes
While walking a few blocks from my apartment today, I looked up and noticed a Chipotle under construction. From zero in the state to one within walking distance! Walking distance!

License to
I don't have a Washington driver's license. I'd been avoiding getting one because I read somewhere that you have to retake the written test, even if you have a license from another state. But the other day, I read online that's not always the case. So today, I called the Department of Licensing to investigate. Below is that phone conversation:

Wicked Witch of the Department of Licensing (heretoforth known as WWotDoL): Department of Licensing
Me: I just moved Washington from another state, and I need to get a new driver's license. Do I have to retake the written test?
WWotDOL: Is it your first Washington state driver's license?
Me: Yes.
WWotDOL: Yes.
Me: Even if I already have a license from another state?
WWotDOL: (in a patronizing tone) Yes, because we have hills in Washington and sometimes even mountains. And we have islands. And school zones here are different...at least from the Midwest. (And she said Midwest very derogatively...as if she knew I grew up there.) And different DUI laws. And most importantly, that way, if you get a ticket, you can't stand up in court and say, 'You're honor, I didn't know the rules of the road.'

At the end, she sorta paused like she wanted applause. Instead, she was met with silence, like in those MTV commercials where the teenagers put all their heart and soul into an impassioned speech only to be stared at blankly.

I'm just wondering, is that speech taped on everybody's cubicle wall at the DOL?

Sign Fiscus is a Loser
She posted a response less than an hour after I posted a response to her comment.

Sign I'm a Loser
Less than an hour after that, I'm posting this.

If This Don't Say Crazy....
I've cleaned my bathroom floor four times in the last 24 hours.

I need a hobby.

Two Completely Unrelated Thoughts
•If I don't have OCD, I have something awfully close.
•Oliver Trask=Emily Valentine (If you understand what that means, perhaps we should get married.)

Fuck You, Klinks
My self-worth can once again be validated by your comments. Proceed.

Ummmm
While shopping at a different grocery store than usual, I noticed the following sign on the freezer case containing popsicles/ice cream treats:
We do not sell individually-wrapped popsicles or ice cream treats. Please do not open the boxes.

I Can't Find My Dictionary
Logical first conclusion: I think someone broke into my apartment and stole it.

When You've Got Nothin' Else...
Give them cute baby photos.



That Reminds Me of the Time...
I told a reporter if he had a package with cute kids, puppies and good flame pix it would be the best television news story ever.

And That Reminds Me of the Time...
I said, "I hope they don't find that missing kid" because I didn't want to have to change my newscast.

And That Reminds Me...
I'm going to Hell.

I Must've Angered the Grocery Gods
It was one thing when I couldn't find Ben and Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk ice cream in Seattle-area stores. I could deal with that. I'd only had the ice cream a few times....not enough for an addiction to form. Then I realized nobody around here carries cherry Toaster Streudels. Slightly more annoying, but not the end of the world. But now...now...I'm not sure if I can keep going. I can't seem to find Totino's hamburger pizzas anywhere. Anywhere! I ask, is life even worth living if one can't enjoy Totino's hamburger pizza.

I Have Nothing to Post About
HaHa! Got your hopes up, suckas!

I Need More...
Drunk dials. Thanks, Fink, et al.

You Aren't Getting My Pity, Portland
This week, Mother Nature shellacked the Portland area with ice. It pretty much shut down the city. At first, I felt sorry for the fine folks in Portland. Then I found out they don't use salt because it's "bad for the environment."

Continuing Coverage of "Armageddon 2004"
The ice in Portland has had our affiliate there wall-to-wall most of the day for four straight days this week. By Friday, you could tell the reporters were getting tired of reporting in the weather for hours on end. One reporter used her live shot to bitch about how cold she was and complain about her assignment. Another looked very suicidal.

Oh, and despite my suggestion, we didn't actually brand our coverage "Armageddon 2004."

The Eveolution of My Work Attire
In the beginning, there were ironed shirts and ironed pants. Usually khakis and a button-down. Occasionally a polo. Brown or black dress-casual shoes. Then came the Converse. Jeans began sneaking in. First on Fridays and weekends. Weekends saw t-shirts, not polos. A hooded sweatshirt once. Four-year-old tennis shoes. Then jeans met the other weekdays. Thursday. Wednesday. Then Monday and Tuesday. Button-downs disappeared. Replaced by sweaters. Long-sleeve t-shirts. Khakis became a thing of the past. Jeans. Jeans. Jeans. Cords...no need to iron. Jeans. Jeans. Jeans. Khakis...not ironed. Cargo pants and a long sleeve t-shirt.

So...Lazy
Yesterday, I took a second shower. Just so I could say I did something.

Home Was Good
Wish I could have stayed longer, though. I didn't even miss cable TV.

Okay...maybe once.

Ummm...Excuse Me?
When I moved to the West Coast, The Unstable Sable stayed behind in the Midwest with my little sister. Imagine my shock and dismay when I found out my sister and her friend have named the car "Sally the Sable." Uhhhhh....I don't think so.

And it's blasphemy what's been done to the car's presets. (Though I think I can blame my dad for that one. He's now sharing the car since his crapped out. It's a bad sign when the Sable's the reliable car.)